Everything I Ever Needed To Know About Sex I Was Reminded About At Death Race

SEX. Today’s topic. You’ve asked, you’ve waited, and here it is…my very first post on SEX.

Sometimes it takes being taken to the edge to rediscover or be reminded about the important things. Extreme physical exertion, mental exhaustion and emotional drainage can be the catalyst to stepping back and taking stock of those things we all think about but don’t really consider. So, this is a list of rules to live by that became evident to me during and after the Death Race regarding life and sex…but mostly sex. Enjoy. Apply.

Here goes…in no particular order…

1. Pace Yourself: The Death Race was like an ultra marathon on steroids. No need to haul ass out of the box. Unless you are doing a quick and dirty in the office at lunch you don’t need to rush. Take some time. Think of it more as a 10K rather than a sprint. And, if you are going for marathon or ultra lengths, definitely pace yourself. Take breaks. Stop and enjoy the scenery in front of you…or behind you, whatever the case may be.

2. Size Doesn’t Matter: Some of you ladies might beg to differ and, yes, I suppose there can be such a thing as “too small.” However, whatever size you happen to be, make the most of ALL your strengths and skills. Lots of ripped, big-muscle guys dropped out of the Death Race. Quite a number of smaller men and women finished. Endurance and skill win over size.  Be scrappy with what you’ve got.  Use your brain (seriously…smart is sexy), use your hands, use your mouth (talking is cool but think outside the box, folks).

3. Don’t Be So Goal-Oriented: The journey is as important as “crossing the finish line.” Know what I mean? When you are close to the finish you’ll know to kick it into overdrive.

4. Take alternative paths: This can pay dividends. It might also lead you to a dead end but at least you gave it a whirl. Try shit out. Improvise. Explore. You may not know you like it unless you try it.

5. Bring the Necessary Equipment: You wouldn’t show up to a gunfight without the holster for your gun. Get my drift? Make sure you have extra batteries. It would suck to run out of juice at a climactic moment. And clean your gear after usage.

6. Hydrate, Fuel Up, Lube Up: And I don’t just mean getting your liquids from a glass or your proteins from a Clif Bar.  There’s nothing worse than grinding the pistons in a dry engine.  Many dropped from the Death Race due to severe blisters and chaffed thighs.  Ladies, don’t get me wrong,…friction is good.  But too much friction hurts..both of us.  A little grease in the gears can turn a dull party into a fiesta!

7. Have FUN: Why the fuck else would you be doing this?!?! If you are not having fun, get out.  Come back another day. I don’t think this needs more explanation.

8. Laugh: This goes hand in hand with Rule #7. Sex is funny. And awkward. And absurd (i.e. Jack Hammer, Twisted Doggy, Pie In The Sky, Pile Driver, Under the Cuckoo’s Nest, Rug Bunny). Laugh.  Don’t get all serious with your “O” face.

9. Be Kind and Courteous: Straight out of the Boy Scout handbook. I was reminded on the course that a small word of encouragement, some shared food, or a pat on the back go a long way. So…be nice. Even a one-night stand can have manners.

10. It Will Be Messy: (I don’t mean emotionally messy. That’s a whole other blog post.) Break out the towels. Seriously, if the messiness bothers you, stick to hand-holding, light kissing and charity walk-a-thons.

11. Embrace Your Dirtiness: Ummm…we are talking about sex, right? We didn’t show up at the Death Race thinking we’d stay clean and pristine. Depending on your inclination things can get really dirty. Take a chance…do it up in some thick mud. That would be excellent.

12. Give: Don’t be a prick.  Everyone loves a giver.

13.  Savor the Moment:  You worked hard, you had fun…now enjoy – you earned it.

And when you are done exit with grace.  Shake the person’s hand, give them a hug, shower them with kisses – whatever the occasion calls for.  And thank them for a great time.

I’ll leave you with sex-advice columnist Dan Savage’s words of advice to always be GGG – good, giving, and game –  “which is what we should all strive to be for our sex partners. Think good in bed, giving equal time and equal pleasure, and game for anything—within reason.

Now, it’s your turn…what are your rules to live by?  Fire away!


23 thoughts on “Everything I Ever Needed To Know About Sex I Was Reminded About At Death Race

  1. “Even a one-night stand can have manners.”

    Hahaha, that is SO true! And who knows that one-night stand may end up being more! Plus everything in life is better when people are simply nice to eachother.

    • Very true Amy! Anything is possible and everything is better when courtesy is involved. Like I said, even a dirty romp in the hay can involve a thank you at the end of it. 🙂

  2. These universal truths can be applied in more than just SEX, yet I feel we ought to focus more on our primal instincts. We didn’t get here because our ancestors were pussies. They kicked saber tooth tail and lived to talk about it.

    There’s so much in this world to detract us from our potential and our gifts. And I think these barriers are there for a reason. How else can nature separate the weak from the focused. What I got most out of this post is the fact that you and the handful of others did NOT quit! Quitters never win, and winners never quit! Hoooooraaaaaah!

    • I totally agree with you MisterHan – these can be applied to more than just sex. There are many things that I was reminded about in the course of the race and many places my mind wandered to in hour 50, 52, 60, etc. The Death Race is a race against self and if a racer pays attention they will walk away with some nuggets of gold wisdom. These are my nuggets as they apply to racing, life, and sex. Thanks for reading!

  3. I like role #7 which means I’ll probably never have fun in a race like this. Sex on the other hand… 😉 Congratulations on finishing Edgar. You are truly inspiring!

    • The Death Race is not for everyone but you can still apply Rule #7 in everything else. Thanks for reading Dee Dee!

  4. #7 & #8 are incredibly important, and I think something you can only add to the mix once you are a bit older and/or more confident in yourself. And your body! Sex is kind of absurd when you stop to think about it, and there will be squelchy noises and messiness and awkward moments. Before you are confident in yourself and your body, all that can be pretty intimidating, and you can allow it to kill the mood. Shame has no place in the bedroom!

    Congrats again on meeting the challenge of the Death Race. I am awed at your achievement!


    • Thanks! Sex rules and life rules…kinda go hand in hand.
      And, yes, #7 and #8 are pretty good to bear in mind. Kinda hard not to laugh when you are trying to wrap your leg around someone’s head while hanging upside down and pleasuring them at the same time 🙂 I’ve never actually tried that one but you get my drift.

  5. Loved this Blog… it really caught my eye. Several years ago I was asked to right my philosophy on life – in a statement, and follow with an essay. I have long since lost the essay, but will never forget my brief summation. Make Love to Life. Obviously, you need no explanation. You get it. 🙂 For so many people, when this comes up in conversation, I get blank stares. Thanks for sharing!

  6. Very interesting point of view. I like it!

    question Re: Death Race vs GoRuck: I was telling a friend about the Spartan and Death Races and I was cut off and promptly told “GoRuckers do the Death Race as a warmup” in a very snooty tone. As some one who does both, would you agree that this is true? Just curious, since she’s done neither and her BF only does GoRucks.

    • Thanks fo reading!
      As far as Goruck vs. Death race goes..I hate snootiness of any kind regarding the races and events many of us participate in (they all have a place…even Warrior Dash – we playfully mock it but, truth be told, there are many people for whom Warrior Dash is a true challenge for any number of reasons. Yet they are out there getting it done. Maybe it is a personal challenge. Maybe it is the beginning of a life change. So I say kudos to them!) Back to your question…
      Goruck and Death Race are two very different events in content, style and length. As you know, Goruck is a TEAM-based challenge and not a race. The whole point of Goruck is to bring together a group of strangers and get them to function as a team. No one gets left behind. I like the fact that the cadre who lead the challenges push us to our limits even though, I think, genuinely want us ALL to succeed. The Death Race is a RACE. Maybe for most not a race against each other but definitely a race against the self. They try to make you quit. It is not fair. It lasts over 48 hours.
      To say that Goruckers use Death Race as a warm-up is not very informed. There were MANY Goruckers at the Death Race this year (I’d say well over 40 or 50). Many of them did not finish. This is no indication of their bad-assness. The race can defeat anyone in any given year. I finished this year. There is no guarantee I will finish next year.
      We Goruckers like to talk a lot of smack all in good fun. Perhaps that is how the statement your friend made was intended.
      I say enjoy whatever race or event you do. None of them are the same. They each challenge different people in different ways on different days. I love both Goruck AND Death Race (well, LOVE is perhaps not the right word in regards to Death Race..Ha!) for very different reasons.

      • you’re new name is “brother diplomat.” well said, you crazy-ass. really proud of your race outcome. rather, happy about the outcome, proud of your effort. and fun blogging.


      • Brother Bones,
        Thanks for the kind words. I like the Brother Diplomat name 🙂

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